My penis is long. It throbs constantly, but remains soft and flaccid. Every once in a while, I think it might be watching me. Every day, it wakes me up with a cock-a-doodle-doo. But it is not a rooster. It is my penis.

A few weeks ago, it did my math homework for me. I got every other problem left. The other problems were straight. My eyes and my penis sometimes engage in fisticuffs. They bicker, but I know that, deep down, they do love each other. It warms my heart, as well as my rectum.
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This is the screenplay I have been working on. I think it might be a blockbuster. I want to have Tommy WIseau star in the movie.